Wilthawiya (2)


Wi-what? I actually googled this name to see if I was just stupid and never heard of it, but I don’t think the title has any meaning at all (unless Giz made it up or it is an inside joke). If I’m wrong about this, please fill me in.

Wilthawiya manages to be a strange and somewhat disturbing game while supplying some underlying lessons on life itself. Most importantly, it manages to focus on its theme; Christmas.

You are Stephen and you suck. You are a big, fat geek that has no life and never been good with the ladies. Upset, you finally ask Santa to bring you a female partner that can offer you some companionship.

You get your wish, but unfortunately it really doesn’t change much of anything. You and your newfound companion have three activities you can do together: eat, sleep, and take dump. She tells you she loves you and misses you, and makes you feel good about your lame self, but that is pretty much it. A never-ending cycle of eating, sleeping, and pooping with the love of your life. At least they have each other though, right? RIGHT?

Wilthawiya (3)

Here’s what I learned from this game: One, once you are a geek, you are always a geek at heart. Getting a wifey ain’t going to change that. You still suck, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Good thing your girl likes you (or acts like it). Second, life can be so monotonous at times. Wake up, eat, work, come home, eat again, deficate, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

I suppose that is one good thing about this game; it leaves you with the feeling of purpose,”hey, I don’t want to end up like that guy. I’m going to do something with my life”. Maybe Wilthawiya isn’t such a horrible game after all? It seems as though some people could learn important lessons of life from this gem.

Wilthawiya (1)

Nah, it will probably just make you feel bad about your life. I already have enough things to deal with in real life that make me want to drive off a cliff without having a constant reminder from a game that I’m a geek and I suck. In all seriousness, if it had better gameplay, it wouldn’t be that bad. I don’t want to play a game that makes me suicidal and spend 75% of the time watching my character take a nap.