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Review:Will Mr. Bacon Ever Win?

You may ask yourself some questions before starting this game; How good could a game starring a strip of bacon be? Why am I playing a game about bacon at all? Some people may think the idea is rad, but Mr. Bacon is such an abomination of a game that you will never want to see or hear about bacon again. You might not even want to eat bacon ever again.

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The author holds nothing back in making this game terrible, even from the very beginning. I unzipped the file and went to start playing it, discovering that it was nowhere to be found. Inspecting the file further I discovered that it was not even an RPG file. I had to manually add the .RPG extension before I could even start playing it. Very promising…

Mr. Bacon must traverse the land and do stuff. Nothing really makes sense so don’t even bother trying to understand the story with bacon. Not five seconds after you start your path, you are greeted with threats of a virus and foul language. In addition, Mr. Bacon disappears and is nowhere to be found. You might think that this is the end of the game. Lord, I hoped it was, but alas, pressing enter caused Bacon to spawn once more to continue down the treacherous path to…somewhere.

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For being only minutes long, this game can be very disturbing and vulgar. Good thing that there are church-going, multi-colored blocks that will not curse at you. You should also notice some of the disturbing combat graphics (I’ll leave it at that). To make matters worse, the music is incredibly annoying and most of the map causes you to get into a enemy encounter each and every step. My advice would be to run from most, if not all, fights and mute your sound.

Speaking of fights, they are not balanced at all and are a complete waste of your time. Attacking most enemies cause two or more additional enemies to spawn, making it near impossible to beat even one encounter. Not to mention the “final” boss evades all attacks and spawns another “final” boss after evasion.

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So, will Mr. Bacon ever win? Probably not. Mr. Bacon is a weak, perverted fool that will never go far in life (or in his own demented game). Garbage like this is best kept in the family. If trash talk, perverted bacon, and combat penises are your sort of thing.

faceplant