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Review:Mr. Pog

As a kid growing up in the 90s, I went through the Pog phase like many others did. Needless to say I wasn’t too sure what to expect here.

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Mr. Pog plays hero in the typical save the land from the evil kingdom story, and remains plain and simple throughout the game. NPCs rarely have anything to say, and there is not much exploring to do besides the default path that keep the plot ball rolling. You are told at the very beginning that you are there to save the land, but I felt pretty helpless the entire time.

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Considering people wouldn’t talk back to me and there weren’t any foes to fend off (except a few random battles and the final encounter), I wouldn’t call that saving the world. You don’t have to buy restorative items or rest at an Inn for that matter, because you will rarely take damage and Pog is a freaking beast in battle. All of this, however, changes when you face the final boss, who apparently dodges 99% of your attacks. Yeah, good luck with that one. You may want to cheat like me and just press F4 to continue the story.

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On top of the terrible gameplay and bland story, the dialogue is riddled with spelling errors and the music had to have been placed by a deaf person (no offense). I will admit that I was a bit freaked out when I made it to the Pog battlefield and there were millions of dead, bloody pogs everywhere. Unfortunately though, the fun ends with the excessive use of Pog blood and gore and the boulder maze in that one forest that lasts three seconds.

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Mr. Pog is a classic example of a crap game, and one that wasn’t made that way intentionally or to be a joke. Someone, somewhere, is proud of Mr. Pog. That same person could very well be taking care of me on my death bed years down the road. That is scary.

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