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Review:Eternal Flame I

(This is an extremely old review and will eventually be completely re-written and use a much better format)

Have you ever witnessed an accident or event of any kind that was so awful, grotesque, and disturbing, that you just could not look away? Some will get that same feeling by playing Eternal Flame.

Everything is ripped. I have heard of people ripping maptiles or battle backgrounds, but not enough to make an entire freaking game. I seriously tried to find one graphic in the entire abomination of a game that was not ripped, but alas, no luck.

The maptiles look decent to be ripped, but the placement and design are tasteless. Your eyes will slowly bleed throughout the game as you experience the poorly colored, ripped battle sprites. Epic characters that resemble the Spam Man as well as yellow Bob the Hamsters (called Chocobos, or Chocobobs) are unfortunately prominent in this game.

It is still a mystery to me as to why one would take the time to rip graphics and not even properly palletize them.

You begin your quest with the introduction of our main protagonist, Allan Mark, who is also the creator of the game. After the brief introduction, you meet with your friend, Mohammad. Through some crudely written dialogue, you will learn that your town, Midgar, is in the process of undergoing experiments from Rufus, assistant to Sephiroth.

To save your sanity, let me summarize the rest of the plot for you; Take some Final Fantasy VII references, a helping of poorly written dialogue, Chocobobs, and diarrhea. To make matters worse, you will be fed the horrible dialogue through quite possibly the worst custom font I have ever seen.

The gameplay itself is so messy that I do not even know where to start…

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The most difficult encounter in the game is likely the bout with Rufus. However, if you have a party full of Chocobobs, Rufus and his cohorts will actually never deal damage, instead, heal the choco-hamster hybrids, reducing the difficulty by about 100%. If you are victorious, you won’t have to worry about money or experience ever again. You will gain about 40 levels after the fight. Yay!

I really tried to understand the layout, but I could just not make any sense of it. The tiles are so poorly placed it isn’t even funny. Be prepared to get into random battles every few steps as well.

As mentioned before, encounters are too easy and too frequent. Equippable items are cheap and give you insane stat bonuses.

As you might have guessed from the Sephiroth cameo, the majority of the music selections are from the Final Fantasy series. To be honest, I was so mesmerized by the rest of the game that I did not pay attention to the score. I suppose I should give a fair rating for this category because of that.

Most will wonder, after reading this review, why I chose to play for an entire hour.

This is quite possibly the worst game I have ever played. It is so bad that I think you should attempt to play through it at least once. Thank goodness for the debugging keys!

If Vikings of Midgard is our model introductory game, then Eternal Flame is its polar opposite. It touches on pretty much everything that a person should NOT do when making a game.

faceplant