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Review:Adventur

Ready for an adventure full of floating heads, slimes, and George Washington? A game that is such an epic adventure that the author thought it would be best to leave off the trailing “e” to Adventure? If you aren’t excited yet, then perhaps the thought of travelling through dank dungeons, your mind, frozen fields, and a dying man’s house will change your mind? It only gets better too. There is no dialogue save three or so textboxes, and your path is about as linear as it can get. Even with a straight path, Adventur requires a special type of person to play; a patient one.
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Be prepared to grind to pass each and every new area. Think Fantasy Under a Blue Moon X without the witty dialogue, gorgeous graphics, or anything else that made the game great. Adventur makes you grind in the worst possible way. There is nothing to look forward to when you get to that next area. I suppose if your dream has been to destroy the cranium of George Washington, then there might be just a little to look forward to then.
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Speaking of heads, those are your hero graphics. Yep, floating, disproportionate, grandmother-looking heads. You can tell right from the very beginning that Zorg spent little to no time making Adventur cosmetically pleasing. Most of your foes will be of the slime variety (different colors, same everything else), with a few snowballs (that blend in with the winter background) and midgets thrown into the mix.
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If you needed any more awesomeness, don’t forget that our hero’s basic melee ability is to tongue his foes to death. You would figure that with a chin larger than The Tick’s himself that Heckrick, our hero, would use that to his advantage. But no, he would rather do it the hard way. I guess in the end it doesn’t really matter though, because 90% of your encounters are very simple if you are at the appropriate level.
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Honestly though, I gave up after an hour playing. I had reached George Washington’s secret passage and met with a golem boss that could smash me to bits within seconds. After grinding for an hour to try and beat him and failing miserably, I decided that’s all I could take of this adventur…uh, adventure. If you are going to force the player to grind 90% of the game, at least make it a somewhat enjoyable experience or create a sense of reward after beating a near impossible challenge. Getting an invitation to Washington’s basement isn’t enough to keep me going.

faceplant