Midnight Rescue Review

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Midnight Rescue is an older, complete game that appears to have never been reviewed before. While the game itself is complete, there are way too many shortcomings to make it worthwhile.

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The story follows Felix, whom finds himself unable to sleep. He decides to get out of bed to see what is on the TV at this “ungodly hour”, when he discovers that his girlfriend, Nikki, has been kidnapped by some thugs. After wondering for a brief minute who would kidnap her, Felix heads out to try and find the girl.  He is apparently the calmest guy in the world, because he doesn’t seem to really be concerned about his girlfriend’s predicament.

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The only logical explanation for his attitude is that he’s either used to her being kidnapped, or perhaps she’s the “clingy” type and would rather her be taken anyways. Regardless, Felix grabs his “BB Pistol” and heads out the door; but not before he forgets to actually grab the gun itself. Don’t worry, it didn’t make any sense to me either.

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After a brief stroll in the park (literally 10 steps), you come to a house where your girlfriend is bound. You are able to free her with a knife from the surrounding area, but the real kidnapper is nowhere to be found. Nonetheless, your girlfriend is hell bent on beating this guy up.

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Felix, being the sissy he is, couldn’t give two craps about finding the guy responsible, and just wants to go home. After your gigantic-headed girlfriend convinces you to come along, you head off to find the guy responsible for everything.

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After another stroll in the park (apparently all of these people live in a hamster-sized park, including the kidnapper), you discover the kidnapper’s hideout. The antagonist’s battle graphic is one of the most terrifying things I’ve seen in an OHRRPGCE game. Not only is he twice the size of other human beings, he has a penis-like appendage (or an extreme outie belly button) that will haunt your dreams for days. Whatever that shlong-like thing is, it defies all reason. You are able to make quick work of him and then the game is basically over.

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All of these events take place in less than five minutes. I commend the author for finishing the game, but simply completing it doesn’t make it great. Felix is a weiner, Nikki has an ogre head, and the main antagonist has a penis coming out of his stomach.  Unless any of those things interest you, it is best to avoid this game.

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